Thoughts on the Circus

Nights at the Circus was an interesting book that I'm still struggling to form an opinion on. As with Geek Love, the first section of this book took me a very long time to get through because I had a difficult time relating to many of the characters. I found Fevvers herself especially difficult to sum up, with her generally pompous attitude and seemingly oblivious nature when it came to assessing dangerous situations or learning from experience. The text jumps back and forth between different times and places, as well as the background stories of several different characters. This, along with Carter's extremely large (and at times obscure) vocabulary was something I found frustrating at times, being an average reader used to stories driven by plot rather than theory.

As I read on, however, I began to realize that the purpose behind this text is not one that could be understood by means of plot alone. I also slowly realized that a character's actions do not have to be the defining feature by which we relate a text to personal experience and thus share in the emotional journey of that character. I find that it is often the deeper experiences of pain and the building (or collapsing) of self-worth expressed by these characters that reminds us of their, as well as our own, humanity. There are a few things, such as love and acceptance, that we all ultimately spend our lives seeking. Some are relatively successful at fulfilling these deep personal needs, while others (several of the characters discussed in class, for instance) face unfortunate circumstances and ultimately crumble while searching for that person or place to provide a sense of fulfillment.

One thing that struck me about this book was the theme of incredible sadness expressed throughout the text in relation to the life and personal history of almost every character. Although Nights at the Circus is widely seen in a political or feminist sense, perhaps personal life experience was what drove me to think of some of the characters in Geek Love when reading some of the highly painful and life-altering moments experienced by characters in the story.

The clowns in particular both disturbed me and broke my heart. I felt both horrified and deeply saddened by the recollection of Buffo's humiliation on the most tragic day of his life. To me the clowns represent a theme of hiding from personal sorrow. I was both intrigued and upset by the poetic idea of hiding from one's personal agony by transforming oneself into something completely different (as done by the clowns when choosing a "new" face). Such a transformation draws attention to the disguise, or ultimately what the individual is not; and in this way he or she is able to divert attention from that which is undeniable. Throughout the time I read about Buffo's slow collapse and ultimate disconnection from reality I couldn't help but think of the members of the Arturan cult in Geek love. These people seem to experience much of the same desire to escape from their personal Hell (whatever that may be to each individual) by undertaking a personal transformation that will make them a freak in a more salient way- as if turning oneself into a physical "freak" will draw both personal and outside attention away from the "freakishness" within. Both of these instances left me pondering the depths of loneliness, and just how far the average person would be able to go in such a direction under the worst of circumstances. Buffo's ultimate mental breakdown also felt eerily similar to that of Crystal Lil, as both were unable to handle the destruction of their family and the grief created by having their worlds crumble around them.

Nights at the Circus is widely discussed as being an important literary contribution in the categories of both postfeminist and magic realism. Though I do not disagree with this in any way, I found that there were several other layers of underlying themes that make Angela Carter's text such an interesting read. These characters hit home in a very human way, whether the reader is male, female, old, young, feminist or otherwise. Though I do not have room to discuss every thought that has crossed my mind regarding this book, I will say that it was a worthwhile read- regardless of my complaints about my own limited vocabulary as compared to that of the author.

Geek Love

What does it mean to be a "freak"?

I have to admit, when I first started reading Geek Love I spent almost as much time complaining as I did reading. I found the characters to be highly infuriating and unrelatable, and the first book took me several days to finish. It took me a while to become used to the graphic nature of some of the author's descriptions (such as the one near the beginning that taught me the true meaning of the word "geek" for the first time). However, as time went on I started to realize how deeply my own emotions had become tied into the text. By the end of the book I found myself hurting and longing and feeling devastated right along with each of the characters. The last page left me feeling empty and lonely-- an unexpected outcome that allowed me to realize just how universal some of the emotions explored by Katherine Dunn in this text truly are. With that being said, I began to ask myself what exactly it means to be a freak. Is it physical difference that distinguishes the normal from the abnormal, or is it something deeper-- a more central part of a person's emotional and mental being that defines some as being part of a larger human experience and others as being deviant?

In my opinion, Geek Love contains a strong theme of universal and shared feelings and experiences. Even though most of the characters in the book are supposed to be deviant and separated from society, many of the same rules of social hierarchy still exist within the context of the carnival. The social norms by which they live are extremely different from those of the outside world (for example, the thought of viewing children as a commodity rather than an object of unconditional love horrified me), but they still provide a context in which the characters can have emotional experiences similar to those of any "normal" person. Each of the central characters seems to have a basic longing to be loved and accepted, and will go to surprising lengths to try to earn this acceptance. This allowed me to realize how human, and arguably "normal" they truly are despite their physical abnormality.

For example, Lil is used by Al in a quest to create his own "garden" of abnormal children. She is so devoted to maintaining Al's love and approval that she is willing to not only abuse her own body (by means of drugs, radiation, or any other treatment used to cause birth defects), but also give Al all authority over whether each individual child is "freakish" enough to be kept. Even though it is obviously extremely difficult and against her will to consider abandoning a child (such as in the case of Chick before they realized his powers), she never questions whether or not she has a choice about doing so. She never makes any attempt to demand to keep a child or even have input in the decision. Rather, she accepts Al's judgment completely, and even feels guilty when she gives birth to a child that appears "normal". She takes the blame completely upon herself without ever prioritizing her own rights above the love she wishes to get from her husband. In this way, she continues to carry the burdens of the entire family throughout her life until she eventually disconnects from reality all together. I felt that this was due to the extreme pain involved in seeing the awful outcomes of the lives of her loved ones. Lily was never given the love she desired so much, nor was she allowed to love unconditionally.

Arty's extreme need for power is another thing I interpreted as a plea for love and acceptance. Early in the text he become obsessed with being the best selling act in the Fabulon. He is not concerned with the number of tickets his act sells, but simply that he is out-performing his greatest competition, the twins. It felt to me as though Arty had such a deep desire to be noticed and appreciated by his parents, not to mention fear of being rejected by them, that he was willing to do anything to secure is place as the carnival's top-selling act. Later, by creating a cult of followers, Arty essentially fabricates a world (and a group of people) in which he is not only accepted, but needed, loved, and asked for advice. Though he acts as though he values his physical deformities as a means of making him different from others, he creates an expansive group of people who are encouraged to not only think the way he does, but also remove limbs to emulate him physically. This leads me to wonder if Arty ever enjoyed being different, or if he was proud of his physical abnormality simply because it made him "normal" and valuable within the context of his family.

Chick shows the most obvious and open longing to be accepted by others. He is so concerned with preventing others' pain and suffering that he is eventually used and misled by Arty in ways that are incredibly damaging to himself. I felt that Chick expressed the same longing as the other characters, but much unlike the twisted ways of Arty, expressed his need for acceptance by means of extreme altruism. His empathy for both humans and animals, as well as his ability to love everyone around him regardless of how they treated him were, in my opinion, just another way in which a character in this story unsuccessfully tried to secure the love of their family.

The pain and yearning for acceptance is especially strong for Oly, as she is constantly made aware that she is of no monetary value to the family. She stands by Arty despite his horrific actions (such as trying to murder Chick, selling the twins to the Bag Man, lobotomizing Elly, etc.), and despite the terrible way he treats her, due to the simple fact that he needs her. I felt that Oly equated need with love, possibly as a result of never feeling needed (or truly loved, for that matter) within her family.

All in all, I felt this book touched on some very sensitive personal issues. The feeling of loneliness and alienation is such a common human experience that I can't help but wonder if any of these characters are so fundamentally "freakish" at all. Sure, most of the events that happen in this book would never take place in real life. But given these same circumstances, how many real, "normal" people would essentially become one of the characters from Geek Love?

Greetings, earthling.

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3..